This book is broken, and other things I tell myself while writing

I am currently writing/attempting to write/failing to write my 13th book.

Authors often talk about murky middles or needing to stick the landing, but I’m going to be honest. For me, writing a first draft is one long doubt-ridden roller coaster, punctuated by brief moments of hope and long swells of you-suck-you-suck-you-suck.

This isn’t a matter of self-doubt and self-loathing.

This is a matter of being WILLING to write badly. To let yourself fail over and over again, to resist the urge to hold down delete and get. To. The. End.

For me, writing a first draft is an exercise in controlled failure. Or at least, controlled falling.

The dilemma is that, the more books you write, the more aware you become of when things are Not Working, but no matter how many books you write, you don’t become magically capable of fixing something until you have something to fix.